My Note..(Birthy)

My birthday was earlier this week.

In 14 years with my wife, I've never once asked for any particular gift for any occasion, and she's learned not to ask for hints. Honestly, there's rarely anything I want, anyway. So she was surprised as we fooled around in bed last week when I told her that there was something in particular I want for my birthday.

Here's what I told her: Some night very soon, I want to come home early from work, make her a nice dinner, do the dishes and put our young one to bed. I want to run a bath for her, sit in the tub and wash her, dry her off, rub lotion on her body, then give her a long, sensual massage. I want to comb her hair. We can have a few candles... maybe some music. I'll spend a good, long time pampering her completely. If she thinks I'm doing a good job, and if she's in the mood for it, she might just allow me the privilege of going down on her. If she wants us to have sex, then we will... but I don't want my orgasm to be the focal point of it, and I would just as soon not orgasm at all (in fact, I'd love to hold off!). I want this night to be all about her. I want her to feel that she deserves it, to enjoy it, and to expect nothing less from me than my best effort at pampering her. I'll be happy if the last thing she thinks about as she drifts off to sleep is "when can we do this again?", while I burn as I did when we first dated, fooling around often and letting our passion boil over without consumating it.

Then we had sex, and I got off quickly, as usual. I doubt she did, though I'll note that her arousal was very evident. Maybe that had something to do with the talking, or maybe it had just been too long.

The next morning while at work, I got a phone call from my wife. "Tuesday night," was all she said. I paused, then understood, stammering something like "...yeah, great. Wow. I can't wait." We hung up, and I had an extra kick in my step all morning. I realized shortly afterward that I had an important work engagement Tuesday night. I called her back, and she said "then we'll do it on Thursday night".

Today, as I left for work, my wife gave me a hug and reminded me that tonight is the big night. I'm very, very excited. I haven't had to remind her. Now it's up to me to make this a great night for her, and not to go yammering on about my own little sexual hangups. She's playing along, so I want her to enjoy this. I want so much to tell her things that I'd enjoy (don't let me orgasm... tell me I need to wait, etc.). But I think we're more likely to discover something mutually satisfying if I don't try to orchestrate the action or place any expectations on her performance.

We're both very busy, and we're tired from having had in-laws over this past weekend. We live hectic lives (like most, I guess). So maybe we'll end up postponing the big night for lack of energy. That's OK, too - I want this to happen when we're both into it.

I'm very optimistic that she's open to this. I don't know if she envisions the night that I do, but she's obviously making an effort. Boy, does that have an effect on my attitude.

More soon, I hope.